Sunday, May 29, 2011

I don't want to pick a title.. and sunburn status

Yeah, I have been sitting here trying to figure out the title of this blog. For probably 15 minutes now. And I like this idea better. Once you make a title, you kind of have to stay to that subject, and I am generally one to ramble. My main topic is just the first thing I talk about. Then it changes. So what is the point?

Moving on! Anyways, I've been house sitting for my parents since Wednesday. Feeding cats and what not. What have I learned? My parents are ridiculous for living in Gloucester and driving to work in Newport News every day. Too long of a drive. Other than that, they have cable and internet.

Update on sunburn status? Lobsterr. Healing now though, so back to the beach tomorrow. Ha. I'm addicted now. And no, those aren't buggers... I have my septum pierced. Ha.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Side note: Judgment day

World didn't end. Can't believe I left that out of the blog. I have yet to see one zombie, and I'll admit, I'm a little upset about it. I was promised zombies! I even finished 'Zombies, A Record of the Year of Infection' in hopes.

Side note to the side note: Amazing book. The art was incredible. Honestly, scary to look at while reading at times. Still haven't finished The Walking Dead book 3, but this sparked my interest while blogging here and I picked it up.

Lobsta' extra crispy.

I am pale. Always have been, really. Basically liquid paper white. However, this year I've decided to 'beach it up'. I have gone three times now, and I have a little color to me. Today I got to see a few people. Mike 'P-nasty' and Timmy 'Timoffyy' to name a few. It was a good day. I'm here at the ol' Barnes and Noble, 40 minutes before closing just to write this actually.

I swam just before getting into the car. Bad idea. The towel from the 4 dollar rack at KMart just couldn't keep up. So now the dress I have on is wet from the car. Oh well, I suppose. Plans for tomorrow? Back to the beach!

I normally burn, incredibly fast, so I don't understand why I haven't. Decision? Tomorrow I WILL be a lobster. Ha. I'm waking up early just to go all day. The only way I've ever gotten darker is to burn and then heal. 

Wish me luck? I'll put up a sunburn picture if it's hilariously red. ^_^

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Do you smell what the rock is cookin'? Definitely not.

To start this off, I just got to Barnes and Noble to write a new blog (yes, I am poor, so I use wifi at stores and such) and opened up 4chan. For anyone who doesn't know what that is, I'd suggest against it. It is an addictive site when you are bored, and filled with things you wouldn't want strangers to see on your computer in a family store. However, it became opened. And I had not turned my volume down. Very loud ads started to play, along with one in particular just yelling out "Do you smell what the rock is cookin'?!?"

I do not. I quickly hit the 'X' on that tab, and just as I did that, an older lady walked around the corner. Glad it didn't continue to play. I nervous giggled and my face turned red. So that is the state I am currently in.

Now onto other news! I haven't put a blog up in a few days. Why? Because I work 12 hour shifts 3-4 days a week. Sometimes more. Until I get internet at my apartment, I am stuck waiting on my blackberry to load it or coming here. I will try to post more often though. I'm off for a few days, so check back in, I'm sure I'll put up a few this weekend.

Also, last night, I saw a man having his car searched for drugs, in handcuffs... wearing a "757" T-shirt and a huge smile. A few months back I saw a hat with "757" on it and wondered what kind of person would decide to purchase an article of clothing with your area code on it. This was that person.

My leg is falling asleep from sitting in the floor. On that note, I've reached the end of this blog.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Travis. And my downfall.

Travis's introduction onto my blog: If anyone is going to be helping me figure out my own life, then you really have to know how I spend it. Travis Andrew Binns. Travis, Travis, Travis.

February of 2010 is when it all started. My ex, Luke, kicked me out high and dry and I moved back in with my parents. I met Travis, and he was just the sweetest boy ever. He bought me cigarettes, energy drinks, and funyons by the bushel and texted me constantly. Well, for about 2 weeks that is. Then, he lost his job.

Here we are, a year and some change later, and he is still unemployed. I got my own apartment in November '11 and I let him stay with me. His mother is a great woman, and she loves him dearly, she is just unable to take care of him. So, I stepped up and for some reason felt obligated to do what she couldn't. I average 50 hours a week at Canon just to afford our food and bills and such, while he stays at home all day.

At first, he was a 'housewife' of sorts, he cleaned and cooked for me when I got home. However, now it is hard to even get him to fill out an application. The longer he goes living off of me, the more angry and resentful I become and the easier it is for me to snap and throw him out. I know that when I get home from my 12 hours shifts on line C216, I am grumpy and tired. But I also know full well that I would have 4 days off a week if I didn't have two mouths to feed.

I feel utterly unappreciated and alone in the apartment these days. A dish in the sink and I go off the deep end. 12 hours and you couldn't wash the dishes?!? In light of the constant fights, I'm quite sure I have now pushed him into an even deeper end with no life preserver. I have thrown him out with no phone or money at 2am from a fight over a slammed door or the stereo being on after I wanted to sleep.

However every time, without fail, I run back out, I yell for him to come back, I cry. I need him. Or at least I feel as though I do. I feel like it is my job to take care of a grown man with nothing physically keeping him from taking care of himself because I can. I can work overtime every week until my back throbs in pain. Until I can barely stand. I have the ability, but do I really want to anymore. I want to go to school. I hate my job. The people there are nice, but I don't want to do this forever. But I can't.

My family thinks I should be a nurse, because I easily care for people that I feel need me. A socialist of sorts. If I have extra, why not share? But I'm starting to believe that this will be my downfall. I spend every month pinching pennies when rent is due because when I have extra around the 15th, I'll just give it out. I haven't gone out and bought myself something since I got a coffee table two months ago.

I hate these facts. I hate seeing that what I am doing isn't right, and still being unable to stop. I love Travis Andrew Binns. I love all of my friends. And here I am asking, does love mean I have to give everything I have to help someone else? Is this what being in love means? Being in a dead end job that I can't quit because I'll let someone else down? I don't know what to do.

Andrew's 21 birthday party?

So, I'm generally not one to drink, however last night was a really good friend of mine's 21st b-day party. He had a huge bonfire and a camper and of course, a boat full of alcohol. 

Originally there was this rule of 'no drinking until the pizza gets here' but as soon as the pizza arrived a massive, dark cloud swept right over head. Lightening started striking, the fire went out, and all 20 or so people tried to cram into one tiny little camper. A few, roughed it outside playing in the rain, continuing to run to the boat to get more beers. Ironic? This boat on the ground in his back yard, began over flowing with water. Essentially failing as a boat itself, taking on more water than the titanic! 

As the cloud passed, the chairs began drying up and the sun went down completely, leaving us with the idea of a bonfire. Wood and pizza boxes soaked, many attempts were made to light empty cigarette boxes and napkins. Eventually, Andrew's father came out with tiki torch fluid and some dry wood. The bonfire had begun. The music was back on. And everyone was quickly spiraling into drunken fits again. 

Later on, a girl got sick... now I am not referring to her as 'a girl' to hide identity, for I am pretty positive she was of age. She is 'a girl' because she arrived already drunk and therefor didn't introduce herself to anyone. Just stumbled around occasionally flashing people or passing out. Finally ending in making a fool of herself by throwing up and crying next to a pile of wood. But have no fear, after the sickness, oh yes she managed to find her way into the camper for more beers and shots before again passing out near the bathroom. 

Honestly, this was a great party though. I got to see lots of people I hadn't seen since I moved to Newport News. 
Oh and a reminder to the birthday boy: don't pass out at your own party until everyone else is gone. Or else you end up with your picture, curled under the sink, online. ^_^

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Well, hello

I'm MelissaDino, and this is my incredibly exciting blog! You see, I was thinking about my age recently and trying to decide what to do with my life. You see, I am 19 years old, I graduated in 2009 and still haven't decided what I want to be. After some thought I have came to terms with the fact that this may be caused by my lack of understanding who I even am.

This blog will hopefully propel my life at the general public, and with feedback, possibly figure myself out. I know that people tend to frown upon looking to others for assistance with self image, but that isn't what this is. You are what you are perceived to be. Well, I'd like to be criticized, applauded, or downright prodded into figuring out more about myself. Through you.

Bit of current info: I am 19. I live in my own apartment in Newport News. I work on an assembly line at Canon putting stickers on toner cartridges. I stand at my job, for 12 hour shifts. I have a kitten, she is insane and plays tag. My septum is pierced, but I did it for myself. I flip it up when I meet new people to avoid the awkward attention. I don't drink, but I smoke cigarettes. I wear skinny jeans sometimes, but also wear 'regular' jeans. I have no backbone.

Now please, play along. Make an assessment, comment, ask questions. I want to know you just as much as I want to know me.